“...while there is a lower class, I am in it, and while there is a criminal element I am of it, and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free.”
— Eugene V. Debs

Today, was better than yesterday

On Friday, I wrote and published a post that was an unfiltered view into my lowest point in a few years. It was the worst day of the worst depressive episode since I wrote this post.

I felt completely powerless to move forward in any way. Once I wrote my feelings down and published them, my problems did not belong to me anymore. I could view them from the perspective of a third party.

After posting, I came to realize three things:

  1. My job search is going pretty well. I’ve had tons of interviews, and most are continuing to move forward.
  2. Our month without a place to call home is over. We moved in on Saturday.
  3. I have incredible family and friends, even if they don’t live in Bryn Mawr.

The reason I write and publish when I struggle with depression is that the act of writing gives me power over my depression. Depression festers when I try to pretend everything is okay.

My usual sunny disposition has not returned completely. But, today was better than yesterday and tomorrow will be better yet. Thank you to everyone who reached out. I love you all; it means the world to me.

P.S. The title of my last post was a reference to Hamilton. That soundtrack helped me through the last couple weeks and the sentiments of life being slightly chaotic because of a sudden change spoke to me on a few levels.

I am not dramatic enough to think my world had turned upside down, even when I am at my lowest. Clare pointed out to me that the reference was ambiguous at best.

I Spent Ten Nights in the Hospital

I Spent Ten Nights in the Hospital

The World Turned Upside Down