I went to another session with my therapist today. We discussed the challenges looming with medical school. The challenges Clare's medical school poses to my mental health came to the forefront this week because she was out of town, interviewing at UCLA, leaving me home alone.
In the last six months, I have become great at dealing with painful emotions around shame, embarrassment, and guilt. But the feeling I was struggling with this week was closer to despair. I described using my mindfulness strategies against this greater foe as playing the depression game on "hard" as opposed to "easy."
I took the afternoon off from work to do a couple of meditations given by Pema Chodron. My last big breakthrough came from listening to some of her lectures. I meditated for two and a half hours today. I do feel better.